


To Understand, To Love.

by thatariessss



Category: carat - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attraction, Boys Kissing, Coming of Age, Dirty Talk, Falling In Love, First Love, First Time, Gay Sex, M/M, Meant To Be, Self-Discovery, Soulmates, Teasing, Young Love, romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22333894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatariessss/pseuds/thatariessss
Summary: Junhui goes to a party and meets a mysterious character who intrigues him, and evokes feelings within him that he learns to understand and embrace as time goes on.
Relationships: Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Kudos: 33





	1. Who Are You?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys.  
> This is my first work like ever lol so please don't be too harsh.  
> I take constitutive crirism though so I'll leave my @ at the end.  
> Depending on how this goes the plan is for it to be a short series.  
> My interpretation of each character is not solely based off how they are irl so please keep that in mind.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. x

'What am I even doing here'Junhui thought as he judgingly watched the people around him make drunken mistakes in a sloppy game of truth and dare. 'Whats the point of getting so drunk only to wake up the next day with a hangover and forgotten memories' He scoffed as he brought his cup to his lips and took a sip of his cool juice. Everyone was fucked, expect him. 

Junhui didn't drink alcohol. Being the best in his region in martial arts didn't come easy, it required a lot of hard work and training as well as discipline. And discipline included no fast foods and or alcohol.

"HELLLOOO JUN! truth or dare?"

a girl slurred as she yelled, ripping Junhui out of his thoughts. He had kind of forgotten he was at this party in the first place, the base of the music as well as the muffled sound of all the conversations going on started to come back to focus. It had been happening a lot that night, he wasn't very big on crowds. Being so undeniably handsome, diligent and charming, he was considered popular amongst many and so that meant that he'd always have people inviting him out to all sorts of gatherings and he usually denies them. He's only out tonight because he's been working towards the finals for 2 months now with no breaks, and thought he deserved one. 

"You alright bro? You keep zoning out" 

his best friend Wonwoo asked as he patted him on the shoulder. 

"Yeah no I'm good..I'm good sorry I jus-...I keep thinking about how i could be training right now"

"Hey i told you we're not doing that tonight." Wonwoo calmly exclaims as he gives his attention to Jun. "You're FINALLY out of the house & the gym and I'm trying to make the most of it. Get out of your head for like 4 hours dude, you've been training so hard and been keeping your grades high as fuck. Take a breather and live in the moment alright?"

Wonwoo says as he gives Jun a genuine smile and proceeds to giving the girl beside him attention.

'He's right' Junhui thought, 'It's been a wild since I played as hard as I worked'

"What do you want me to go for baby?" 

he said as he leaned into the pretty girls face, which he kind of regretted doing afterwards cause she reeked of alcohol.

The crowd oo'd and ah'd as they never really pinned Jun as the flirtatious type but he definitely was. Junhui kept his circle small, only really cared about his books and martial arts but that didn't make him blind to all the female attention he'd always get, and DEFINITELY didn't make him unable to entertain it as well.

"Dare" 

the girl confidently slurs in a seductive tone. Jun could tell she was the "I always get what I want" type and in this moment she wanted Jun. 

"Rachel right? Well Rachel, let me guess, you're gonna dare me to kiss you in front of all these people right?" 

Junhui teased as Wonwoo sat on the couch beside him, smirking because he knew his best friend, and his best friend, when he wanted to, had girls like Rachel for lunch. Rachel nodded her head a bit too hurriedly to be being honest, but it only humoured Jun. 'You're cute but the desperation that's pouring from your eyes is incredibly off putting' he thought as he watched her gaze grow more wanting. He softly and slowly put his hand towards the back of her neck and pulled her closer, her eyes dropped to his lips and he bit his lip before she raised her eyes back to his. His eyes pierced holes through hers as he made sure to make her feel like she was the last meal in the world and he hadnt eaten in days. The crowd around them soaked it up. The tension grew and Rachel just wanted it even more, they had everyone around thems attention when Junhui suddenly brought his lips to her ear and said 

"I would love to but right now, I've gotta use the bathroom"

And pulled away from her. He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes and turned to Wonwoo. With a wink he said

"I'll see you at school. You have your fun."

Wonwoo, with his arm around the girl he was talking to and having expected Junhui to pull such a trick could only laugh as Jun stood up with his cup and left. The crowd was confused but not as much as Rachel as she watched him leave, took a big swing from her cup and cried

"Asshole!" under her breathe.

"He's a lot of things Rachel but he's definitely not an asshole. The mans just gotta use the bathroom

Wonwoo remarked with a condescending smirk on his face that just made Rachel tell him to shut up.

●●●●

Junhui casually weaved through the crowd as he was trying get to the door to leave. It was a pretty big house party. The music was booming, drinks were flowing, people were conversing and swimming. He had to admit that for someone whose social, this would be a good party on their opinion. He paused for a minute and looked out at the pool were laughter filled the air as the people in their swimsuits held their cups up high and tight. Living in the moment. 'This must be what Wonwoo meant when he said that' he thought, it had been so long since Jun had any real fun, he's starting to wonder if maybe he's just outgrown it.  
As he continued to casually look around, having completely forgotten all about the truth or dare incident and going home, he raised his cup to his lips and froze midway as his eyes met with another's.

Round but winged at the ends, and mysterious. Junhui could barely see them through the black bangs that went over their face. A septum ring sat prettily between his perfectly slim and plump lips, and his round nose. The fingers that held the cup were long, pretty and covered in sliver rings. His elfy ears pointed out of his hair and were lined with earrings.  
Junhui in that moment stopped thinking, all he did was stare at the boy and he starred right back. He didn't even try look away, instead he leaned back onto the kitchen counter whilst still keeping eye contact with Junhui, and took a sip from his cup. 

In an alluring manner, the boy lowered his eyes from Juns eyes, to his lips, his chest, torso, legs, then back to his eyes, as if almost trying tell him something, trying to invite him over.

"FUCK"  
Jun yelled under his breathe as he felt his juice pour down his white tee. He'd had it titled for way too long. He felt heat rush to his cheeks as he looked up and saw the mystery boy still starring at him, but this time with a small smile on his face. Jun found his smile so endearing he almost got lost in him all over again. 'Who are you?' he wondered. Snapping himself back, he blinked at the boy a couple of times before disappearing to look for the bathroom to get the juice off.

As he moved through the crowd and up the stairs all he could think of was how he'd never experience anything like that before. How he'd never looked someone in the eye and froze like that, or even feel all the things he felt in that moment. Junhui was not only confused, he was also a little curious.


	2. What Are You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to make this a story because I really like where my mind is going with it.
> 
> It's all freestyle so I literally sit at my desk and think up the chapter as I go along so forgive me if it seems all over the place lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy

After a few minutes of mindlessy looking around for the upstairs bathroom, he finds it at the end of the hall. It was sort of hidden, as the door that led to it lied to the left of another miniature hall with no lighting, and absolutely no one within proximity to it. 'Interesting architecture' Junhui thought as he hesitantly entered the bathroom, he didn't bother to wonder what the door facing the bathrooms door was as he just found his night to be strange enough already.

"Wha....What the fuck was that?"

He exhaled as he leaned on the door inside the bathroom after finding the light switch. It had sort of felt like from the minute he left the mystery boy to go upstairs, he'd stopped breathing all together. 'Weird. So so weird' he exclaimed in his head, and suddenly he starts to realise his surroundings. The room was big. There was a shower to the left of the bathroom. Clean, all glass doors with midnight blue marble tiles that had hints of white. To the right was a bathtub made of the same marble that was raised by a glass base that turned into stares. 'Fancy' Junhui thought. He looked to his right and walked towards the sink which was glass, with the midnight blue and white marble as the base. The mirror was large and long, and had a small section to the left of it that looked like it could open. 'Well...whoever lives here is very rich, very very clean...and is ALSO very interested in self care & personal hygiene" he thought. As he looked around he noticed himself in the mirror. 

"I can't hate Rachel for wanting me, I would want me too", he said as he giggles but his giggle fade as he notices his shirt.

"Ugh this is gonna stain isn't it" 

He said as he angrily grabbed some toilet paper. 'Dab don't rub. That's what mom always says' he thought as he lowered his head and worked on getting the juice off his shirt.

"Who was that boy?...I've never seen him before. You think we go to the same school?..that wouldn't make sense though I definitely would've heard of him or seen him around, he's kinda hard to miss. He's so.....different? the way he looked at me was different, it kinda felt like...i was having a whole conversation with him or something-"

He scoffs mindlessy mid-sentence

"-i sound crazy I know but it all just felt so electric.." 

Junhui, wide-eyed looked back up at the mirror, almost not recognizing himself. 'What the fuck? Why am I talking to myself like a drunk person that's what drunk people do. Also why am I thinking about him? What's going on? Am I drunk? Did someone put alcohol in my juice? What am I saying? oh my gosh I think Wonwoo did something to my drink that FUCKING SON OF A B-'

Jun's paranoia got abrubtly interrupted by a faint knock on the bathroom door. Jun quickly turned his head to the door in surprise. He stayed quiet for a while hoping the person would leave but they knocked again, this time louder and purposefully.

"Hey I'm inside"

Jun yelled. He's surprised bc it took him forever to find the bathroom and absolutely no one was around the area when he walked past before. 'I mean i guess if I could find it someone else could as well-'  
His thoughts got interrupted once again by another loud knock. 'What the fuck are they deaf or something?' Annoyed, Junhui walked to the door with the intent to cuss whoever was knocking into shame.

"Dude are you deaf I said I'm inside-".

Jun didn't expect to have his eyes meet once again with the mystery boys, especially in that moment. He felt his stomach flip itself upside down as the hairs on his body stood upright, and the heat rushed from his chest to his whole body.  
Mystery boy stood there with a bit of shock on his face.

"It's you."

the mystery boy finally said after what felt like forever. His voice was soft but direct. A stark difference from his outer appearance.

"How did you find this bathroom? I kinda made sure it was well hidden", he asked in shock and confusion.

Junhui, who couldn't really feel his legs, or arms or lips or head in fact, he couldn't feel his whole body.

"Hi....hi yeah I Uh...I was just looking around and found it

Jun chuckled nervously as the mystery boy just nodded at him with an expressionless face. 'Wait did he just say HE made sure it was well hidden? Is this hou-'

"Um anyway I'm done so like you can come in and use it if you want...

Junhui said with a smile. 'Where did cool Moon Junhui go? What am I being so smiley for, since when am I nervous?' he thought as he gave himself a mental face palm because of how awkward he was being and felt. The mystery boy did nothing but just stand by the door and stare at him almost blankly.

"It's cool. I don't mind you using my bathroom" mystery boy casually said. 'Oh it IS his house! So this is his party? Wow i never wouldve thought' Junhui said to himself.

"Are you okay? You look kinda flushed and you keep doing this thing where you just, keep, looking at me." the mystery boy remarked, in a calm and quiet tone as one corner of his lips raised a bit, implying that he was amused.

As if his words were a slap to the face, Junhui blinked them all in before he loudly cleared his throat.

"Yeah no I'm okay I'm just---I'm annoyed that the juice stained you know.....I should go actually. I'm sorry if I invaded your personal space by using your bathroom. I had no idea. I didn't even know it was your party" Junhui giggled forcefully in an attempt to lighten the dense mood that filled the air around them. Ever since mystery boy walked in the air got thicker, everything just felt so intense, so humid. "and don't get me wrong it's a hella sick party though it's like, wow I'm having so much fun but I hav-"

"You're rambling." the mystery boy states as he cuts him off.

"Rambling would suggest that you're nervous"

He said as he took a step towards Junhui and Junhui took one back.

"Are you nervous?" 

he said as he took another step towards Junhui, which Jun followed with a step back. Jun was nervous. Very nervous and he couldn't understand why. He never gets this nervous for his matches, or his tests and exams or around anyone really but this boy, this tall lean boy that stood in front of him made him lose his breathe and his mind all at once. He rendered him speechless and helpless and he didn't know why. 

"Because there's no need to be" the boy continued with a warm smile as he reached over to his right and turned the sink off.

"You left it running. That's pretty wasteful."

he remarked as his focus returned to Jun and Juns senses came back as he caught the boys eyes with his again. He was so freaked out about someone knocking that he completely forgot to close the tap.

"Shit! Right I'm so sorry about that!" said Junhui in a hoarse tone. He began to realise that he hadn't said a word in a while, which is very unlike him. Something about this boy made him lose confidence and go mute. 

"You seem to be very...clumsy, like a child." he said as he looked down to the stain on Juns shirt then back at him. "But...i think it's kinda cute."

As the words left his mouth Junhui couldn't feel anything again as his heart began to beat so hard and fast he was worried the mystery boy would hear it. He didn't know how to respond to that. Yes he had many other boys compliment him and he'd always thank them as sincerely as he would thank a girl but with him it was all so different. 

"You're doing it again." the boy said with a giggle, and Junhui thought his giggles were even softer than his voice.

"You're just looking at me..."

the boy continued to say, as his giggle faded away and his tone filled with something Jun couldn't put his finger on. But it made the mystery boys eyes change from the endearing look they had to a serious look and filled the air between them with so much tension. 

Jun nervously giggled as he said "sorry....i don't know why I keep doing that" as he tried to look anywhere but at the mystery boy.

"sorry about your tap and your bathroom. I'm gonna go now."

And just like that, Junhui swiftly passed through the mystery boy, sped his way down the stairs, weaved his way through the crowd to his car, and got in. As soon as he shut the door he exhaled. 

He sat in the car for a while,blankly staring at nothing, before he drove off to go home but the whole time he only thought of one thing: the mystery boy, and how he didn't understand how one person could make him so...not him?

He also thought about how he maybe didn't want him to be such a mystery anymore, but Junhui convinced himself that that was the so called alcohol talking. He convinced himself that he had more than enough friends, even though something deep within him, something buried in dubiousness and denial told him that this wasn't about friendship. It told him that what he felt wasn't just something you feel because anyone, but again, he blamed it all on the alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write lol  
> I promise I'll put a name to the "mystery boy" really soon.  
> We will find out more about him as Junhui does as well.  
> Hope you enjoyed it.  
> Don't forget to comment opinions and leave kudos! xx


	3. Could it Be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Jun thinks things are going back to being "normal", something happens that jump starts the beginning ofhim understanding whats going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its 2am and its like been 2 months since i updated this lol but seeing as i'm stuck in the house i'm back at this au thing. Idk where this is gonna go really but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. This was originally suppossed to be about JunHao having some sloppy hot sex at a party but like lol its turned into a first love story and im not really sorry lol i hope you enjoy.

It's been some time since the party. Wonwoo gave Jun a bunch of shit for leaving so early, as he always does, and went on to talk about how he kind of left early too because the girl he was cuddled up with on the couch was not stimulating. Something about how she couldn't hold a semi-intellectual conversation and how all she did was stare and smile at him.

"You still haven't explained why i saw your car parked outside when i was leaving you know..." 

Wonwoo casually said as they strolled to one of the nearby benches outside. This was where they always were between breaks, they'd stop by the bench after coming from getting some food from the food trucks or restaurants nearby or from lectures. It was pretty difficult meeting up during the week and this is cause Wonwoo majors in Literature whilst Jun in Music. He's really amazing at martial arts but he's almost even better at piano. Jun took a sharp breath in and widenened his eyes as Wonwoo's words hit his ears, he's been bringing this up for the past week now and Jun doesn't know how to tell him that he got some juice on his t-shirt because a beautiful mysterious boy distracted him and then when he went to get cleaned off in the bathroom, him and said mystery boy had a very weird intense conversation that left a weird feeling in his stomach and he can't stop thinking about him ever since. All Jun wanted to do was to forget about it all but his mind would't really let him, and so wouldn't his best friend.

"..oh yeaaaaah...oh..i don't know that doesn't really make se-"

"JUN! Finally you're here, i need you to read these notes for me bro i literally have no idea whats going on"

his other best friend, Jihoon called as he interrupted their conversation and high-key saved Junhui's ass as they approached the bench. He was with Joshua and Soonyooung, his other really good friends. Joshua did the same major as Wonwoo whilst Jihoon and Jun both majored in Music, an interesting match up but they worked. They met up every Thursday at 2pm cause that was the only time they were all free at the same time and man, Jun really needed to see them today. He couldn't really explain it but Jun had been feeling very uneasy the whole day, like something was gonna happen that was going to create a huge ripple in his life and change a lot, he was just hoping it wasn't going to be something like him twisting his ankle because the martial arts finals are coming up, and no way has he been following a strict diet of protein + starch, fruit and steamed vegetables 5 times a day for 3 months now to not even get to compete.

"Yeah bro i got you, let me look at it." he hurries to reply and sit next to Jihoon forgetting about how he's been feeling, and about answering Wonwoo. Wonwoo has been watching Jun escape his way out of answering that question for almost 2 weeks now, and he's not sure if its on purpose or if Jun really is that easily distracted.

"Woooon wassup bro~~ i hope you took really good notes in the 3 lectures we had this morning" Joshua says to Wonwoo as he welcomes him and pulls Wonwoo out of his thoughts.

"Ha ha you're funny..where were you?" Wonwoo replies looking very unimpressed but also not surprised.

"Chloe had the dorm all to herself because her roommate fell ill and went home, and you already know what that meaaaans" Joshua teases as he nudges Wonwoo with a mischievous smile on his face

"HAHA! really dude? you missed the lectures because you were getting pussy?"

"Aye man don't judge you'd do the same!"

"like hell i would!" Wonwoo replies as he rolls his eyes and laughs out loud at his friends terrible decision making skills.

"Yeah i think that should be it. It seems like a tough combo but if i read it right then yeah those are the notes." Junhui says to Jihoon.

"Okay cool, thanks i was way too lazy to work it out"

"It's all good, working on a new song? Cause these definitely aren't the notes from the assignment she ga-"

"It's none of your business" Jihoon says as he hastily packs up his things and gets up to leave. Junhui just smiles because he knows his friend, and he knows that it means he'll tell him another time "i'm gonna head to the dance studio now."

"When are you gonna let us meet Soonyoung dude? you barely even talk about him" Junhui inquires for the millionth time now, they had been together for almost 4 months now but Jihoon was still to introduce his boyfriend to them.

"Yeah bro what are you so shy for? we're not gonna steal your man we don't play for that team remember" Joshua comments with a cheeky wink and everybody breaks into laughter except Jihoon, he just closes his eyes as if to steady himself.

He's always been the quiet and irritable but reliable kind, he won't really tell you too much about himself or what hes been up to, and he gets annoyed when you pry too much, but if he values you in his life, you will eventually know when the time is right. He doesn't keep secrets, he just isn't a fan of sharing things in the moment, he shares things moments later, when the time has passed and they are constant. A very interesting character but a very loyal and loving one nonetheless.

"Jun? please tell Josh he's disgusting and i'm ashamed that he's my friend" Jihoon says in a dry tone as he swiftly and quietly turns to walk away from the bench.

"awwww you think we're friends? bro i'm honoured!" Joshua shouts to him and smiles as Jihoon replies him with nothing but a stark middle finger in the air as he walks away.

The 3 guys continue relaxing on the bench eating their food, talking about everything and anything but Jun still can't shake this feeling he has. 'Why am i so anxious? i just need whatever it is that's gonna happen to happen already because this feeling is fucking exhausting', and just as he thoughts end and he finished expressing his frustration, his eyes lock onto a dark figure strolling in the distance. Long blacks bangs, tall slim build, 'no fucking way' Jun says to himself, the figure had headphones on and was holding 2 sketch pads and had a black leather satchel hanging across his right shoulder, well at least that's as much as Jun could see. It couldn't be...could it? it's been almost 2 weeks now since he's seen him and he was finally starting to let himself forget, he was finally letting that night and the boy that comes with it become a distant memory, a dream almost.

"You're fucking kidding me" Jun exclaims as his eyes never leave the boy.

"...what? you don't like that i'm trying to practice safe sex? Bro there's no way i'm going raw with her without us getting tested together, i know i'm a clown but i'm not that much of a fo-"

"Something tells me he hasn't even been listening to a word we've been saying.." Wonwoo interrupts Josh as he takes a look at his friend who's completely out of it, "he's daydreaming again" he states calmly as he returns to his game.

"What the fuck Jun? are you serious? dude i'm pouring my heart out here-and Won are you even listening to me or are you gaming again?" Josh remarks, his words laced with disappointment and despair, his friends weren't even giving him the time of day, "literally why i'd rather clap some ass cheeks than be with you guys, y'all are dicks"

"Ew dude." Wonwoo comments in a dull tone, still very immersed in his game.

"Oh so you heard THAT but you didn't hea-"

"I've got to go...i'm going to go now i've got practice" Junhui suddenly states with a tone of panic, as he grabs his bag and dashes off the benches. The whole interaction between Wonwoo and Josh was nothing but background noise as the closer the figure got, the more Jun could see that it was indeed the mystery boy, and the more the uneasy feeling he had the whole day began to turn into something else, something Jun didn't really know how to make sense of. 'This is it, this is what's supposed to happen, this is what has been making me feel on edge' he thought. Putting things into perspective, it's crazy that he didn't even have to see him for all the mess of emotions he'd been feeling to start. His stomach had been uneasy but now it was doing flips, his heart had been racing but now it was pounding in his chest repeatedly, so hard it was giving him a headache and his body had been aching all day, but now upon seeing the mystery boy he feels like he could run a marathon and not even break a sweat. And this time Jun can't blame it on the so called alcohol, to be honest he always knew he couldn't. Its just that he's never experience this, he's never had someone, let alone someone that's pretty much a stranger, make him go through so much physical and mental torment.

"..Bro are you okay? whats wrong?" 

Josh calls out as he worries but his words float into the air and onto the ground as Junhui was already long gone.

●●●●

It's 4 pm, and Jun is sitting in a lecture, his mind lingering on the events of earlier. The lecturer in front of him drones on about a Tchaikovsky piece they're probably gonna have to go home and assess for next week, at least he thinks that's what's going on, he hasn't really been paying attention but the big bold writing on the board that says TCHAIKOVSKY kind of gives him a hint, and is a little hard to miss. He can't help but drown everything around him out, the mystery boy seems to have that effect on him, one amongst many others. 'Mystery boy...i really need to put a name to him, i mean if all my thoughts are gonna revolve around him then i'd feel a lot less weird if they were at-least revolving around with a name attached to them" he thinks. He let a stranger take over every part of him, as much as he'd like to deny it. He's taken over Jun's thoughts in his absence and then in his presence, he takes over his whole body and Jun's never had any one do that to him, he's never had someone stay on his mind all day and linger into the night, he's never had someone scare and excite him at the same time.

"hey...you alright?" Jihoon whispers as he leans on his hand to his right where Jun was seated, and Jun immediately recovers from his thoughts to give Jihoon a quick smile and nod, as he clears his throat and pretends to listen.

The lecture ends and Jun was right, they have a piece to assess and Jun thinks about starting on it the minute he gets home. A distraction, he needs it.

"Okay. I'm over it, tell me whats wrong." Jihoon suddenly stands with his arms crossed, talking to Junhui.

Junhui giggles, "what? nothing i'm fine. lets get out of here, i've got to practice and start on this piece before the work starts piling up again" Jun says as he brushes him off and stands to leave.

"Bro you know i'm not this kind of guy," Jihoon says sternly as he steps closer to Jun,"frankly I told Wonwoo he was being dramatic when he called me to tell me about how weird you've been lately and how you just randomly ran off to practice earlier today. Yeah you're fucking weird, and super random...but not like that. And today you barely even listened to a word in class because your head was somewhere. Usually when it's somewhere else i'd look down and see that you're scribbling some shit about martial arts combos on your note pad, or drawing your dumb little cats, some junk food when you're craving it, some musical notes because you love piano, a damn stick house because you're you, literally anything but today i looked down and your page was blank Junhui...so i'm starting to think that maybe that little Shakespeare-wannabe was right, you're not being yourself. what's going on?"

Jun has never seen Jihoon this serious, well he's always serious, but he's never seen him seriously worry about him like the way he was in that moment. Jun didn't even know that Jihoon watched him in class enough to know all those little useless details about him, he feels flattered actually. He's always known how much Jihoon loves him, but it's rare moments like these when it really hits just how much he loves him. The atmosphere in the room has grown heavy and still, Jun doesn't know what to say, and of course he doesn't cause he doesn't know what's wrong himself. How do you explain something to someone that you don't even understand.

"Honestly Jihoon...i don't fucking know." he says with a loud sigh, almost like hearing himself say the words out loud lifted a sort of weight off his shoulders. "I don't fucking know," he sits back down and lets his bag slouch onto the floor. "I've never felt this way before, and i think i kind of hate it, but im not sure if i hate the feeling or the fact that i don't understand it."

"What happened?" Jihoon asks with a concerned look on his face, and grabs a chair to pull it closer to Jun.

"It's this guy.." Jun starts without hesitation, he'd been needing to let it all out, "this guy. I met him at the party we went to last week and,..we talked..but not really..we kind of had this moment...actually many moments...and I felt so many things but now...i don't know what it is Jihoon but i just ca---I can't get rid of him. I can't stop seeing his eyes, i cant stop seeing his smile, i can't stop hearing the sound of his giggle, thinking about how soft his hair looked, how intense his gaze is,...his lips....i can't stop thinking about him...and i don't know why." 

Junhui spills as he stares at the ground, unsure of if he really just said what he said or if he thought it all. He shrinks into the chair as he suddenly feels exposed and vulnerable, hearing himself made it all too real, when it was all in his head he felt safe because he could keep telling himself that their just thoughts and it's nothing that serious, but having his thoughts manifest into actual words that fall onto someones ears made him feel like they are so much more than that. The room is quiet again, and despite all the information Jun just dumped onto Jihoon, the room's atmosphere feels so much lighter. Jun shyly looks up at Jihoon, wondering if he maybe freaked him out too much and from the corners of his eyes, he catches Jihoon quietly smiling to himself as he leans back on his chair. 'Smiling? why is he smiling did he not hear a single word i said, does he not see any wrong in how abnormal this is?'

"Oh so its fucking funny?"

"Yes it is Junhui," he retaliates with a faint chuckle in between, "it's fucking hilarious because you're an idiot. An idiot with a massive crush on a boy whose name i bet you don't even know."

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos would be appreciated.
> 
> My Twitter @ is relatable_9yu and my CC is open to all your opinions and requests.


End file.
